Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
