It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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