Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
