Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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