he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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