I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
