his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
as a side note pls kill me
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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