How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
