Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
