First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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