something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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