This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
