I think scott just propositioned me for sex
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
