Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
