If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
