Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize