Can i not drive my cunt home
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
