Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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