According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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