I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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