Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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