i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
