garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Operation Purity has been aborted
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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