so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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