I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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