Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
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