I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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