I'm jealous of your bromance
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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