Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
