she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
