Swine flu. Run for my life!
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
