are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
