She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
