3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
