That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
