So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
