it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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