Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
