I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
