her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
