I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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