haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
