Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
