is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
