I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
