Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
