Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
