i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I checked into jail on foursquare
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
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