What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
