I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
