Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
